


Neither

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Rin is sad, also written pre ep 10, basically it's rin's world going dark, like rinharu is very mild in this you can not notice even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>My dream and a relay with friends I can show you I can have both!</i>
</p>
<p>With Haru's outburst and the news of Sousuke's injury Rin realizes he can't have either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neither

**Author's Note:**

> Feels
> 
> Like the episode is airing now idk why i did this
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes or illogical thinking.

_„I'm not you! I don't have anything like that!”_

The words still echo in his head, even long after Haru and his team left the locker room.  
Okay; so _maybe_ Rin shouldn't assume that Haru wants the same thing as him, and instead realize that all the signs that he read as „Haru is working hard to go pro” were wrong.

But; there is still a relay to swim.

That's right.

If Haruka swims for his friends and for himself; Rin will just have to swim for his own dream. Although with the perspective of Haru not going with him, he feels that his dream lost its shining. However he can still swim for his friends.

He still has to show Sousuke that he can find that something, whatever it is he searches for.

Rin exits the locker room, with nobody in sight. He is still sad because of his earlier confrontation with Haru, but he tries to compose himself.

„Hey Rin.”

It's only when Sousuke pokes him in the arm that he notices he is not alone, and that both Nitori and Momotarou are waiting a bit farther away in the hall.

Now when he thinks about it, he is not ready yet to go to his team.

„Can we talk?”

Rin tries to cover the hurt in his voice, the 'I'm about to cry but not yet' feeling he's got. Sousuke either doesn't notice or keeps it silent. They exit the swimming arena and go to the nearest vending machine stall.

After handing Sousuke a soda, Rin sits next to him on a bench.

„So what's wrong with you?” he tries to say in the most casual way possible. 

„I told you already; nothing is wrong with me.” Sousuke replies, as if he expected that question.

„At the warm-up today you stayed behind for a bit. So I'm just wondering. Maybe we should take somebody else for this.” Rin says without looking at Sousuke. He doesn't have the guts to face him.

„NO!” he gasps and adds „It's going to be ok. I promise.” Sousuke seems desperate about this, and as Rin doesn't want to make another person precious to him upset today, so he just leaves it at that.

Before Rin has the time to either confirm it or deny it, Mikoshiba Seijurou interrupts them, with the energy so only like him. 

„What do you think you two are doing here? The Medley relay starts in 10 minutes, get yourselves ready.” the former captain of Samezuka says, and Rin smiles.

„Yeah. We're on it.” he says, and Sousuke follows. 

„Oi, Matsuoka.” 

„What is it?”

„Don't get yourself disqualified this time.” Mikoshiba says, and Rin only grins.

"As if I would."

He doesn't look at Sousuke, whose smile is practically non existent at this point.

In the locker rooms, everyone is busy with preparing themselves for the race, and Rin doesn't see the Iwatobi swim team anywhere. He is almost happy he doesn't, but it's more like a bitter realization that at least one obstacle is out of their way. 

Before they proceede to the swimming hall, he gathers his team for the last pep talk.

„Thank you for doing this for me. This relay is really important to me and I'm glad you joined. We are going to win this because we are the best team, right?” 

„No, Rin-senpai” Nitori says with a light shake of his head. „We are all here because we want to be here. And of course we are going to win this.”

„There is no way we couldn't. So let's go!” Momotarou says, smiling like a sunshine and claps Nitori on his shoulder.

Rin casts a last look at Sousuke before they exit, and Sousuke smiles; he takes it as an 'it's okay' kind of smile and moves on to the pool.   
Somehow they are in the next lane beside Iwatobi.

Rin can almost feel the awkward tension, the side glances of his friends but he doesn't do anything about it. He will _not_ let it affect him.

The relay goes very well for their team; they are in fact in the lead. It seems like only small mistakes will decide the winner.

When Sousuke dives in, Rin feels a sudden worry; something like nervous butterfiles flying in his stomach. He isn't sure if it's because Haruka is only inches away from him or if it is because he is anxious about Sousuke.

The swimmers who swim in the last leg get up on the starting blocks.

Rin takes a little look at Haruka, but the freestyle swimmer doesn't pay any attention to him.

He looks back at his own line, and prepares to dive.

But something feels wrong.

Sousuke is one meter away from the finish line and he is just about to touch the tile on the edge of the pool; except that he doesn't. Sousuke just stands there and Rin sees the helplessness displayed in his eyes and on his face.

He decides to dive in anyway, skipping that one fundamental rule of relays where the other swimmer is supposed to dive after and only after the previous one goes to the finish. He sees Sousuke looking at him in disbelief; he feels the gaze of the other relay team, of the other people standing by the pool and looking at him asking themselves „what is this idiot doing”

He doesn't turn back, but exits the pool from the other side, not looking at anyone.

Because he realizes that not only he has to choose between his dream or a relay with friends.

But from the two alternatives he is going to have neither of them.


End file.
